when bananas rot they secrete stuff that makes other fruit including bananas near them rot faster
that’s so fucked up that is murder suicide
bananas commit murder suicidethat’s pretty fucking metalI’d say it’s pretty fuckingbananas
(I work in a Coffee Shop. I was on break in the lobby when a couple walks in. Directly behind them is a cute little boy in Batman costume.)
Me: “Oh my God! It’s BATMAN!”
(The boy stops, strikes a pose and starts looking around menacingly. After a few seconds, he approaches the counter.)
Mother: “Jeff, would you like a chocolate milk?”
Boy: “I am not Jeff. I am The Batman.”
Mother: “The Batman, would you like a chocolate milk?”
Boy: “Yes. Yes, The Batman would.”
(The couple pays while the boy sits down with his chocolate milk. He keeps a stern look on his face as he sips the drink.)
Boy: *sips* “Gotham is safe.”
Sometimes I look in the mirror and think “Oh daaaamn ;)” and other times I look in the mirror and think “Oh daaaamn :’(“
Actually, that’s a common misconception. Cats kill animals and bring them to you because they think you’re a shitty hunter and they don’t want you to starve.So it’s kind of love, but it’s mostly because you suck at catching food
I’m pretty sure “I don’t want you to starve” is the maximum level of love cats are able to give.
#this is why i love cats #they give you tongue bathes and bring you food because they think you’re a giant hairless cat that sucks at being a cat



